i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize