all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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