fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
