so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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