You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
did i walk over a car last night?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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