hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
