Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
