The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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