Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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