you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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