My hand turned me down
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
