And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
