Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
