I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
