Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
