Having a random hookup so left but love u
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
