Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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