But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
