everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm passing your future prison.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm both gender and math confused
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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