i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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