Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
