all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Someone shattered a urinal.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
