woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
