So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
