I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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