Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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