Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
