I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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