I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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