I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
