My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
