I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
