i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
