White coat. Heels.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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