Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
