So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
