We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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