i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
