for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
