I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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