Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
