I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
