Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
