So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
