I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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