every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
