I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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