thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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