I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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