Welp...herpes.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
only you would photoshop your dick
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My breasts were aching with rage.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
