She just used a chaser for red wine.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
