I don't think brook has ever known best
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
