I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
